Nicholas Gazin, today’s featured artist, is a furry, funny little man who lives in an inverted rainbow that shines above a toxic landfill full of Star Wars action figures. He also curates Vice’s Sunday comics, draws a lot of crap for us, and interviews famous people like Terry Gilliam. You can see a fine cross-section of his work here and watch his Creepy Touch show over at the Mishka bloglin. We asked him some questions about his curious existence and he answered accordingly. Keep reading to see his responses.
WTWTA: Which is your favorite Wild Thing and why?
Nicholas Gazin: Naomi Campbell. It was hot when she took off her shirt in the pool and let Matt Dillon see her boobs. Karen O wasn’t on the soundtrack but everyone in the theater was saying “Yeah yeah yeah!”
You have a fabulous and thoroughly lustered mustache that is very long and curly. Tell us about its wondrous superpowers and at least one reason why you might shave it.
Black and Spanish girls love my mustache. White girls like it like they like clowns. A couple of weeks ago I was in Atlanta eating bland Southern cuisine at Mary Mac’s with my friends and their parents when a waiter put his hand on the small of my back and said, “Excuse me.” I looked up at him and he continued, “She really likes your mustache.” A tall, pretty black waitress moved forward and shyly told me, “It’s very sexy.” I said thanks but didn’t know how to properly maneuver because I was in front of old people in a strange place. White girls just laugh at me.
I’ve grown a handlebar mustache three times and shaved it off twice. I’ve had my most recent one for almost four years. I wonder what I look like without it and consider shaving it sometimes, but I fear how ugly I may have become in the period between when I grew it and now.
If you were a monster, what kind of creature would you be and what sort of mischievous activities would you partake in?
I would be Dave Eggers but a werewolf. I would be a heartbreaking werewolf of stag-eating genius (alternatively, a heartbreaking werewolf of grrr-ing genius).
Do you enjoy scaring people? If so, what’s the best way to scare a person?
Yes. The best way is to yell “fire” on an airplane and then jump out of the plane.
Who is the worst comic book character ever created?
Harvey Pekar. How much longer can that guy keep making comics about waiting for the postman and complaining about bread?
If you were commissioned to draw God’s self-portrait and weren’t allowed to see him beforehand (because it would cause your head to explode, of course) what would it look like?
If I were drawing God’s self portrait that would make me God. You’re a God if you control your destiny. When I was very little I envisioned God as looking like George Washington wearing Prince Valiant’s armor.
Would you rather marry a leprechaun and in return inherent a vast, unlimited sum of wealth, or gain the ability to fly in exchange for exclusively eating gristle scraped form a barbecue grill (on which roadkill is exclusively cooked) for the rest of your life?
I don’t think I would mind being married to a leprechaun. My dad was a broke guy who married a rich girl. If I’m lucky the same thing will happen to me. If she happens to be a leprechaun then that’s fine.
